Growing up

So I guess I consider myself grown up now. I say this because I can honestly look back at my childhood and wish for differences and I regret taking advantage of time that has passed and will never be lived by me again. I spent 3 wonderful hours with my baby sister tonight with both of our babies in our arms. I have to tell you it was a sweet, sweet moment for me. A special moment that will live forever in my heart.

My sister and I hardly ever saw eye to eye on anything growing up. We shared a bedroom even a queen size bed until I was a freshman in high school. When I saw yellow, she saw green, when I liked Whitney Houston she liked The New Kids on the Block, when I wore baggie clothes she wore Rockies and cowboy boots. Even down to the way we looked was opposite, at the time Elizabeth had long beautiful blonde hair and crystal blue eyes, tall and skinny with big boobs. I on the other hand had brown hair, crap colored eyes, shorter boy like build and no boobs. We fought like crazy, I remember one night we must have taken turns calling each other every name in the book one after another, calling out to each other in the dark from our day beds on opposite walls in our room. I don't recall who won so I guess I must have fallen asleep first. 

I do recall however that my sister Elizabeth flew to Chicago to help me with my first son while I packed a u-haul and then drove back to Phoenix with me stopping every two hours to feed Cole who was only 10 weeks old. I do recall making her and my Dad get out of the car to stand in the cold while I breast fed Cole because I was too embarrassed to do it in front of them. I do recall her loaning me money time and time again even tough she probably knew it would take forever to get back. I do recall her being by my side when my second son was born. I do recall her just recently being by my side again when my third son was born and in the NICU. I do recall he throwing my a 3rd baby shower and a bridal shower and harassing the DJ at my wedding so I didn't have to worry about anything. 

For all the time that has passed, 30 years actually my gosh I wish that I could go back to our childhood and be her best friend from the very second she took her first breath. I wish that we could have been inseparable and did everything together like the terrible twosome. I wish we were nicer to each other and treasured one another. I wish she would have known that I had her back at all costs. I wish she could have trusted me with all her secrets, dreams and wishes. I wished we could have more of the same interests and likes, hobbies maybe even friends. I wish that I had even more time with her on the clock that has already passed.   

I am sure now that I am grown up because I can look back, know the mistakes I made with my beautiful, smart, giving, loving, best friend of a sister and not let another day go by that she doesn't know how much I love her and just what I wouldn't do for her. 

I love you Elizabeth, alway have and I always will!