The things I do and the things I know

I clean the bathroom's so everyone will have a fresh start in the morning.

I make coffee and bring my Husband a fresh cup so I can say "good morning", to his face.

I leave the bedroom with the baby as quietly as possible and shut the door behind me in the morning to give my Husband the extra sleep time that he needs.

I am a mother hen.

I bug my Husband by trying to take care of him all the time.

I am terrified of asthma.

I extremely dislike asthma too. It makes me angry. 

I clean the kitchen so that my family will have a gathering place to visit during meals and give thanks to our Lord.

I clean the dishes so they will have things to drink out of and eat off of.

I sweep my floors 3 times a day sometimes more so that the 10 second rule won't really hurt them.

I vacuum the carpet almost every other day so my babies can roll around and play without dirt or dust agitating their lungs or skin.

I wash all the laundry every weekend so my children will not only be clothed but look nice too.

I pick up toys, shoes, cups, bottles, clothes to pick them up again and again and again to make room for them to play and to make my house look nice. 

I am proud of my home and want to reflect that to anyone who comes in.

I get the coupon section from my parents every Sunday to cut coupons and save money.

I research how to improve my children's heath almost daily. 

I educate myself on health issues, supplements, medicines or anything else that will benefit the boys.

If I don't feel right about something I usually go with my gut.

I ask questions to as many people I can who may have a similar heath situation in their home.

I shop at second hand stores to save money.

I think twice before going anywhere to save gas.

I plan multiple tasks at a time when I am out to save gas as well. 

I ask myself how I can impact someone's life and do it almost everyday, even if it is just a smile to a stranger.

I help strangers.

I am friendly and out going.

I have a few best friends.

I am usually the first to help and the last one to leave because I am still helping.

I am always willing to talk.

I am always willing to help even if I really don't want to. 

I will do anything for my children even if that means sacrificing my own wants, needs and happiness.

I kiss my children as many times as possible every day.

I let my children know how proud of them I am every day even in the silly simple things, because to them they are not silly or simple.

I ask my children what they want.

I discipline my children if needed even though it's hard.

I am up early with the kids, to bed late because of the kids and up all night with them too. 

I know what my children need.

I know what my children like and don't like.

I know what my children can and can not eat.

I know what my children will not eat.

I know what medications and the dosages my children take.

I know the names of my children's doctors and have their phone number's in my cell phone.

I know that my children love me as much as I love them.

I spend countless hours upon hours praying for my family and their happiness, safety, prosperity and health.

I have started reading my bible.

I have a strong faith in GOD.

I am an incredible Christian woman.

I volunteer for as many things as I possibly can at church.

I am a singer on the worship team.

I am a remarkably loyal wife, fiend, mother, sister and daughter. 

I am beautiful inside.

I am motivated when it comes to different things that most don't understand.

I will fight for what I believe in.

I grind my teeth.

I can not lie even when I want to really badly. 

I will take any step necessary to protect my Husband and children as well as my family.

I am not always the most patient person but I work on it.

I am understanding but also argumentative.

I am an amazing Wife.

I am an even better Mother.

I love nature, there is noting like the sound of the wind in the tall pines!

Nothing make my heart more happy than to hear my children laugh and to hear my Husband say "I love you".

I am a deep romantic at heart and suppress it.

I get disappointed a lot and suppress it.

I get angry and show it.

I am horrible at covering up my emotions.

I am an unorganized- organizational freak.

I probably suffer with some form of OCD.

I can not stand it if someone doesn't like me or is mad at me.

If I want something bad enough well, I use to get it.

I have many deep regrets that I have been forgiven for but have not let go of yet.

I wish Jaxon wasn't sick all the time, and that my husband could understand how tired I really am inside.

I have aged 10 years in the last 2.

I have crows feet.

I know that I still have it in me, I am just to tired to look right now, BUT I WILL!

This is mostly a reminder to myself and hopefully someone out there can find some peace knowing they are not alone in their craziness!

My baby is not a baby any more....

I have been suffering form horrible headaches, lack of "desire", moodiness, and I am always tired......so I decided to go see my OBGYN last week. I have been taking Celexa for depression (which I have had since puberty) along with a birth control pill that was safe to breast feed while taking. When I explained all my problems/symptoms to my doctor he explained they were mostly caused by breast feeding.

  I have a wonderful Husband who I happy with and attracted to. I love my kids and get to stay home with them so I couldn't understand it. I eat horribly, never workout and hardly have a life for that matter so I figured it was all from that. 

My first son Cole nursed for 6 months and decided he didn't want to any more. My second son Jaxon had to stop nursing because my husband was in the hospital and I didn't leave his side, Jax was 4 months old. I have been nursing Tanner now for 10 months and didn't really want to stop. Our second son Jaxon is always ill and has asthma and food allergies. I am convinced if I would have nursed him longer he wouldn't be as bad as he is. So far Tanner shows no signs of illness like Jaxon and doesn't have asthma. We are still not really sure about the food allergies. 

My doctor changed my medication to Prozac and Yaz but also warned that it would dry up my milk supply.

 My dilemma is Tanner is not thrilled and I am a little sad. I was just nursing him getting ready to put him down for a nap when I started to tear up. Just looking at him, knowing he was my last baby and that this would be one of the last few moments of nursing him was so sad. He looks so little to me when I am holding him like that but I know that he is getting bigger too. This cross road is a hard one, I am sure that a lot of Mom's out there feel the same. I have a friend that was very upset when her daughter got her first tooth only because she knew the "baby" was gone. I can't imagine not having a baby in my arms but of course it would be great to have a life too. Such a weird combination of thoughts. Hopefully the changes in my med's will help but I can't help but feel sad and a little guilty that I'm not going to be able to breast feed any longer. I can't help but be sad that my little guy is growing up and moving forward in life.  Baby no more, 18 year old soon.......