Growing up

So I guess I consider myself grown up now. I say this because I can honestly look back at my childhood and wish for differences and I regret taking advantage of time that has passed and will never be lived by me again. I spent 3 wonderful hours with my baby sister tonight with both of our babies in our arms. I have to tell you it was a sweet, sweet moment for me. A special moment that will live forever in my heart.

My sister and I hardly ever saw eye to eye on anything growing up. We shared a bedroom even a queen size bed until I was a freshman in high school. When I saw yellow, she saw green, when I liked Whitney Houston she liked The New Kids on the Block, when I wore baggie clothes she wore Rockies and cowboy boots. Even down to the way we looked was opposite, at the time Elizabeth had long beautiful blonde hair and crystal blue eyes, tall and skinny with big boobs. I on the other hand had brown hair, crap colored eyes, shorter boy like build and no boobs. We fought like crazy, I remember one night we must have taken turns calling each other every name in the book one after another, calling out to each other in the dark from our day beds on opposite walls in our room. I don't recall who won so I guess I must have fallen asleep first. 

I do recall however that my sister Elizabeth flew to Chicago to help me with my first son while I packed a u-haul and then drove back to Phoenix with me stopping every two hours to feed Cole who was only 10 weeks old. I do recall making her and my Dad get out of the car to stand in the cold while I breast fed Cole because I was too embarrassed to do it in front of them. I do recall her loaning me money time and time again even tough she probably knew it would take forever to get back. I do recall her being by my side when my second son was born. I do recall her just recently being by my side again when my third son was born and in the NICU. I do recall he throwing my a 3rd baby shower and a bridal shower and harassing the DJ at my wedding so I didn't have to worry about anything. 

For all the time that has passed, 30 years actually my gosh I wish that I could go back to our childhood and be her best friend from the very second she took her first breath. I wish that we could have been inseparable and did everything together like the terrible twosome. I wish we were nicer to each other and treasured one another. I wish she would have known that I had her back at all costs. I wish she could have trusted me with all her secrets, dreams and wishes. I wished we could have more of the same interests and likes, hobbies maybe even friends. I wish that I had even more time with her on the clock that has already passed.   

I am sure now that I am grown up because I can look back, know the mistakes I made with my beautiful, smart, giving, loving, best friend of a sister and not let another day go by that she doesn't know how much I love her and just what I wouldn't do for her. 

I love you Elizabeth, alway have and I always will! 

Those Moments

What are your favorite moments with your kids?

My very favorite time with my kids or I should say family is when we are all playing on my bed. All 5 of us are there. The baby innocently watching, Jaxon and Cole are wrestling with my husband and I am there taking it all in. he best is when it is quiet and we are cuddling and talking, laughing and watching the kids interact with each other. Sometimes Jaxon will bring a bucket of toys up into bed to share with baby Tanner. He takes each toy out one at a time to share as if to give Tanner the option to pick the toy he wants. Jaxon calls his baby brother "Tan Mam" because we call him Tan Man. It is to cute to hear him call him this. As many times as we have tried to correct it, it is almost better to just let it stick for now because I know it wont last forever. I wish some of these moments could last forever!!

Tired!

DO you ever feel like it's just too much and giving up? Not saying that I would ever walk away from my kids but there are days when I truly don't want to get out of bed and do "my job". I was laying in bed this morning thinking about all the temper tantrums, dirty diapers, time outs and of course watching Barney 90 times that was going to take place today and almost cried. I love my boys, I usually love staying home with them but today I would just love to have to entire day off. I remember when I had what some people refer to as a real job, if I needed a day off I took it, called the boss and said I need a personal day. Took the day to refresh my batteries and I was good to go for a while. 

I think as moms its is more important than we are willing to admit.....WE NEED A DAY OFF!

There I said it and so can you. Why do we put our selves last, why are we suffering in silence because we are to ashamed to admit we are not superwoman. I really feel that our families get the short end of the stick when we don't allow our selves a day off to refresh our batteries. Think about it, I did this morning. Normally I love to sit and play with my kids. I am worn out after a long winter of sick children and a sick Husband, endless housework, laundry and dishes, taking kids to doctor appointments or sporting events, homework and the list goes on and on and on. Kids get naps and recess, Husbands get weekend quad rides with the buddies we need something too.

My 2 year old hates me........

 So do you ever think your kid hates you? I swear sometimes he does. He seems to be a “perfect angel” for anyone and everyone who watches him for me. Where does this perfect angel come from??? Or more importantly GO? Oh sure, there are moments when I get to experience this phenomenon but they are very short lived moments and not that often. I love to hear “well, it’s because you are him Mother”. Welllll, shouldn’t that give me some sort of perfect angle coupon to use whenever I need or want to after all I suffered through a pregnancy, a c-section, breast feeding and now ASTHMA! You would think that would automatically entitle me. NO such luck. I love how he seems to play the part or shall I say person just right too. Daddy, Grandma and Aunt Lizzy all bring out this perfect angle but in almost different personalities too. With Daddy, he just has to do something silly that is just a little dangerous, which he knows I would not approve of but as long as he does something silly at the end like making a funny face or does a little dance then that gets Daddy to laugh and all is well. Grandma gives him her undivided attention so he milks her for all its worth. Aunt Lizzy always seems to have treats on her so he just bats his beautiful long eye lashes and gets what he wants. It wouldn’t matter If I had freaking Elmo himself in my purse sometimes that kid just will not listen, will not stop screaming, throwing rocks in the pool, hitting the dogs and of course torturing his baby brother. I guess I should be thankful that at least he is a “perfect angle” for everyone else right......but I really can’t help but think sometime the boy hates me. Thank the lord above that I usually get an "I love you mommy" a few times a day, otherwise I might actually get me feelings hurt. 

Guilty Pleasure

Am I a bad Mom if I don’t miss the hustle and crazy bustle of my two year old right now?  

My husband misses him within the first few hours and asks “Don’t you miss our guy?” I just look up not really wanting to answer but of course that gives it away. My Mother-in-law loves to take or two year old for a few days at a time and to tell you the truth it is always such a relief. I have been known to do the happy dance after they drive away. Don’t get me wrong, I love my bossy, demanding, fit throwing, whining two year old but OH MY GOSH.........sometimes I just need to be without him. He has so much energy that even that cute little pink drumming bunny couldn't keep up, you think I’m kidding. 

So, when it’s really quiet and I get to leave my 7 month old to play on the floor and not worry about what’s going to bounce off his head next at the expense of his loving older brother, take an hour nap and oh and did I mention it was REALLY QUIET, should I feel quilty??? HA not a bit! Thank YOU Grandma!

What kind of kids are we raising?

I got this email the other day and I have been thinking about it non stop. It was about our childhood, what we did, the risks we took and the people we became. 

We drank straight out of a garden hose when we were thirsty.

We played outside all day long until we were hungry, had to pee or the street lights came on.

I personally grew up in a 3rd generation neighborhood where everyone looked out for each other's homes.

You could walk up to a neighbors orange tree, pick a fresh orange, sit down in their grass, peel it and eat it right on the spot.

I have memories of laying on the dash above the backseat with my Dad driving the car. 

I worked in the back yard as a little girl along side of my brothers with out a shirt on. 

It didn’t matter if you had mismatched clothes on at school as long as you could play a mean game of 4 square.

We went to church every Sunday and were taught about the good LORD.

We memorized bible verses and went to vacation bible school as well as summer camp.

We camped in a tent in the forest with my entire family. We ate hot dogs grilled by the flame of the fire we built in the ground. 

If you were new to a neighborhood you went out side to find friends to play with.

We had the beginnings of video games but we would much rather go outside to play.

We owned bicycles and had all the scrapes and bruises that childhood should and could provide without wearing pads or helmets.

We were taught that you didn't have to like and be friends to everyone but you had to be polite. 

We were taught to be respectful and got a swat on the butt if we weren't.

Our friend didn't knock, they walked in, sat down and called our parents "Mom and Dad"

My brothers would protect me at no cost and if they didn't they would get a talking to from my Dad.

We believed in the 10 second rule.

We believed in try outs to play on a team and if you weren’t giving it your all, you got yelled at or kicked off the team.

In sports, not everyone was a winner.

 

It seems that the children we are raising today are going to terrified, sore losing, unmotivated, germaphobes. Think about it..... we give them bottled water, keep them inside because of stranger danger, we show them not to get involved in neighborly situations even if the guy next door left his garage door open all night. We strap um down, in and wrap them in all kids of protective garb. We buy them expensive, trendy clothes just to “fit in”. We have left out GOD in their upbringing due to OUR busy lives.  We take them on vacations to stay in hotels, yell at each other and pretend to spend those few days as a “family”. We give them all the expensive gadgets like video games, cell phones and movies to keep them occupied. We slather them in antibacterial gel, and of course let everyone play on the team and give them a trophy at the end. 

I am just as guilty as the next person but I can't help but stop and think how all of these simple things will change the outcome of their futures. Where did our simple upbringings go and how did we let them change when it came to just one generation after ours?

Makes me think about making a few changes in my home.........life and love is what you teach them after all.